Check The Spiritual Fruit

This is a cross-post from WeUsed2bu Christian Girl Advice Site . This month's topic is Dating God's Way. Although it's written to the ladies the principles apply to single men too. Here's..

Check The Spiritual Fruit..

Daughters of the Most High God, you are precious in our Heavenly Father’s eyes and He has good plans for your life, to give you a future and a hope in Him. (Jeremiah 29:11) As you draw closer to Him, you will desire His will more and more. He will begin to reveal the giftings He has imparted to you, as well as His divine and specific plan for your life. He saved you for His service, to use you to glorify our Savior. (Ephesians 2:10) Therefore, you must be very prayerful and wise in choosing your potential date or mate. The person that you choose as your mate will play a role in either hindering our Father’s plan and purpose, or edifying and encouraging you to fulfill your calling.

I think Jesus said it clearly when He said,

“Anyone who isn’t working for Me, and anyone who isn’t working with Me is actually working against Me.” (Matthew 12:30 NLT) Anyone who isn’t working with you towards fulfilling God’s will for your life is working against you. So beware of the wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Our Father has given us guidelines to follow that will help in evaluating a potential date/mate.

1st...They should be a Christian – 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” (NKJ) The image is that of two oxen plowing a field: One yoke is placed over them, and they work as a pair. They cannot go in opposite directions even if they wish to do so, because they are bound together. (Commentary from Discover God Study Bible)

We are on the path of righteousness, seeking God’s will for our lives. We need to bond ourselves to others who are on the same path. Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? (Amos 3:2)

The unbeliever does not understand the things of God nor do they desire God’s will, and usually do not agree with God’s Word. (1 Corinthians 2:14, 2 Corinthians 4:3-4) To bond or yolk ourselves to an unbeliever will inevitably result in division of our loyalty and compromise of our faith, and will harm our own purity.

(Read and meditate on 2 Corinthians 6:14-18)

2nd...They should be a doer of the Word, not just a hearer. (James 1:22-25) The Holy Spirit warns us not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. He says that we should not even eat with such people. Instead He says that we are to remove these types of people from among us. (1 Corinthians 5:9-13)

This may seem harsh, but our Heavenly Father is warning us to separate from them because He knows that bad company corrupts good character. (1 Corinthians 15:33) These people are claiming to be believers, and He doesn’t want us to be deceived. Those who have been born into God’s family do not make a practice of sinning, because God’s life is in them. But anyone who keeps on sinning does not know Christ or understand who He is. (1 John 3:6-10)

Although we may want to do good, if we are going to be spending quality time with other believers who make a practice of sinning, then we are in danger of their sin and compromise influencing us. The Word warns us that sin is like yeast that spreads if it is not dealt with by removing it immediately. (1 Corinthians 5:6-7) We are to throw off everything that hinders our Christian walk, avoid unedifying relationships, and instead have fellowship with those who call on Him with pure hearts. (Hebrews 12:1-2, 2 Timothy 2:22)

3rd...They should manifest the fruit of the Holy Spirit in their lives. – Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)
There will be those along our journey that will claim to be Christians just to get closer to us. Some will be wolves in sheep’s clothing. Our Lord Jesus speaks of how to recognize these wolves that are not “the one” for us. He said, “BY THEIR FRUIT YOU WILL RECOGNIZE THEM.” (Matthew 7:15-20)

He is talking about their spiritual fruit, their works, and the way they act. Anyone can claim to be a believer. But Holy Spirit at work in us produces the fruits of the Spirit (mentioned above) and good works. Faith that doesn’t result in good works is dead and useless. (James 2:14-26)

So how do you check a person’s spiritual fruit? By being friends first. This will allow you to better check them out and see what they are about. Below are some practical questions that can help you evaluate a person’s spiritual fruit and maturity before beginning a dating relationship:

Are they really committed to serving God? Are they involved in any ministry work? Have you seen them ministering to others?

Are you spiritually compatible? Are they at least where you are in your spiritual maturity? Are they rooted in their faith?

What type entertainment do they enjoy? Music, movies, tv shows, books, etc.

Do you believe the same doctrine? Do they believe that faith in Jesus Christ is the only way to have salvation? Do they believe in the Holy Spirit?

What’s their character like? Can you trust them? How do they treat others, especially their immediate family? How are their work ethics?

How do they handle adversity? Do they trust God?

Have you seen them angry? Are they forgiving or do they hold grudges? Do they try to get revenge?

Are they responsible with money? Do they tithe? Do they pay their debts?

Do they have control over their sex drive? Do they honor and obey God’s instruction to remain sexually pure? Do they provoke or lead you into temptation?

This may seem like a lot, but remember that you are a daughter of the Most High God. Our Father wants the best for you. Know who you are in Christ Jesus, and desire to have a man who also knows who he is in Christ and who lives for Him. You are precious to God. Don’t settle for less than God’s best for you, sisters!