Day 1 WOC Pt2 First Public Confession

Continued from Day 1 WOC "By The Word of Their Testimony

After lunch it’s back to the same pods we go so that we can fellowship with the girls. During our lunch break I was asked to be a platform speaker for the second half of the day. I was to go from pod to pod sharing my story. I have done these events quite a few times and I have been asked before to be a platform speaker, but this time was different I did not know why at the time. The Holy Spirit had been telling me to prepare my heart to speak since that morning so I was not surprised when I was asked to share. I asked our Lord to give me the Words that He would have me speak.

I went into the first pod and began to share my story in front of close to 100 women. I told them how I had been raised by both my father and mother until I was eleven years old when they separated. It was all down hill for me then. I became even more rebellious and started running away from home. I went to live with my dad because I was closer to him at the time. My mother was very strict with me and we just always seemed to bump heads. I explained that I realize today that she was just trying to protect me.

Full of stubbornness and rebellion I thought I knew everything and I wanted to be so grown. I had run away twice to New York before the age of 14. My family had formed a gang and pretty much joined forces with another big gang in our county. They were one of these largest gangs in Broward County in the early 90’s. Most of my family only helped feed the terrible demons that possessed my life.

I began doing drugs, fighting, having sex, stealing, clubbing, hanging out all night and disappearing for days at a time. I had been arrested a couple of times and did a little time in juvenile detention. Then I was sixteen when my mother died in a tragic car accident. This pushed me over the edge. Now I was full of rage and hurt. The one emotion that I had the most that ate at my heart was regret. I regretted not being able to be the daughter that my mother deserved. I just wanted to know that she loved me. What I shared next surprised me…

I continued on to tell them that perhaps I had been angry with my mother because when I was small child I told her of how I had been molested by a family member that was staying in our home. When I told her what occurred she addressed the individual along with their parent, but they did not believe me. I remember being slapped in the face and being called a liar. I was wounded forever. This was not the first or the last time that this would occur, not by the same family member. Others too had their way with me.

I stood for a moment before the women in disbelief but in freedom. I told them that this was the first time that I shared publicly that I had been molested. I gave glory to God who has healed me and explained that it is by His Spirit that I am able to forgive and share that story with them. Although I do not forget what has happened I remember with forgiveness. When I looked around and saw the tears and the shock in their faces I immediately knew that many of these women had also been molested or raped. My friend read me a statistic from the Us Department of Justice’s site that said more than 50% of the women in jail said they had been physically or sexually abused in the past. How awful. L

I finished sharing and went on to the next dorm to tell my story of deliverance. That day approximately 200 women heard how our Lord delivered me from darkness and brought me into the light. When I was done sharing I felt like the little girl that hides inside me was no longer full of shame and guilt. She was full of love and freedom in Christ Jesus. She has learned to allow our Lord to take what the enemy meant to destroy her and use it for His glory.

After leaving the prisons we went to a banquet that was hosted by a local church for all of the volunteers. We had dinner, fellowship, and shared our experiences in the jails and prisons. There was singing, laughing, and prayer. It was an awesome end to a glorious day.

Enclosing I would like to say that if you have been molested or raped you do not have to be ashamed or feel guilty. You were the victim but you do not have to remain the victim. You can become the victor through Christ Jesus. He can heal you if you will choose to forgive your offender. It took me many years to even face this situation, to even talk about it. It was just a couple of months ago that I told my husband, whom I have been with for ten years, that I was molested as a child.

Our God was patient with me and knew when I would be ready to face this. One of my mother’s in the Lord shared her story with me of how her father had for years sexually abused her. She spoke with such freedom and without shame. To hear and see how our Lord had delivered and healed her made me want to face my past too. It is because of her story and His Word that fills my very being that I can address this subject today.

His Word has brought healing to my soul. His Word is freedom to those that have been held captive by strongholds, addictions, anger, and unforgiveness. Allow the Holy Spirit to heal you and to help you forgive so that you can be free too.

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the suffering and afflicted. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted, to announce liberty to captives and to open the eyes to the blind.” Isaiah 61:1