Sand Paper People Test

A while back I wrote a posting called Sand Paper People. It was about those abrasive people that God uses in our lives to smooth out our rough edges. He does this by showing us through our reactions to them some of our own attitudes, thoughts, and issues of the heart that we need to allow the Holy Spirit to work on. I now call this testing ‘The Sand Paper People Test’. Lol..

The ‘Sand Paper People Test’ is meant to build godly character in us. (James 1:2-4) This test of dealing with people who are rude, arrogant, insensitive, negative, religious, self-righteous, or just straight foolish is meant to humble us and help produce the fruits of patience, self-control, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness; which then results in the fruit of joy, peace, and love. (Galatians 5:22-23) Recently the Lord has been showing me in His Word very specifically how to deal with people who say hurtful, inconsiderate, or foolish things. Here is what I have learned:

Make sure your dressed for the occasion.

“Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you MUST clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. ABOVE ALL, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.” Colossians 3:12-14 (NLT)

We should always clothe ourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. However, when you know in advance that you are going to be around Sand Paper People you need to be sure that you do not leave your house without being prayed up with a humble heart ready to be patient and merciful, willing to overlook other’s faults. Above all ask God to give you a special love for these individuals, because it is love that covers a multitude of sins. (Ephesians 4:2, 1 Peter 4:8)

Remember that God is working things out in both theirs and our lives.

God has a plan and purpose for everything in our life. He causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. (Romans 8:28) If He is allowing us to go through this testing of our patience and self-control by dealing with sand paper people, then it’s because He wants to teach us to love people in spite of their foolishness. He is teaching us about humility and meekness. This testing equips us for the new level in Christ that He wants to promote us to.

He is also trying to reach out to the other person. If the person is an unbeliever, we know that it is not God’s will for them to perish, so surely He has us there to show them the love Christ. If we are patient with them and make allowances for their faults they will see this, even if they don’t say it. Then one day they may decide to ask about our Christian hope, which we should be ready to explain in a gentle and respectful way. Even if they don’t receive what we have to say our godly lives will speak to them. They will be won over by observing our pure and reverent lives. (1 Peter 3:2, 3:15-16)

Now if the other person is a believer too then we must remember that we are all at different places in our walk with Christ. Philippians 1:6 is the scripture that the Lord reminds me of when the sand paper person is a Christian, “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” We must remind ourselves that just like He is not done with us, He is not done with them either.

Be led by the Holy Spirit and allow Him to control your tongue

We must allow the Holy Spirit to control our tongue, especially when we are around people who become the tool in the hands of the enemy to provoke foolish talks or arguments. (James 1:26) I like what Proverbs 26:4-5 says,

“Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are. Be sure to answer the foolish arguments of fools, or they will become wise in their own estimation.”

These verses show us that sometimes it is best not to respond to foolish arguments because then we are just adding to the foolishness. However, there will be times when we will have to respond and correct in order to stop the foolishness. In either case this proverb is showing that we need to stop the spread of foolishness. One must use wisdom to know the difference and be led by the Spirit of God as to when we should respond and when we should be quiet. You will know when you are not being led by the Spirit when you are reacting hostile, quarreling, and having outbursts of anger. These are not of the Spirit, they are of our own sinful nature. (Galatians 5:19)

God knows that there will be times when the foolishness becomes too much and we want to vent our anger, especially when the person insults us or someone we love. The Lord led me to these scriptures which spoke right to my heart.

Proverbs 29:11 “Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back”

Proverbs 19:11 “Sensible people control their temper, they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.”

1 Peter 2:23 Speaking of Jesus, “He did not retaliate when He was insulted, nor threaten revenge when He suffered. He left His case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.” - This one is my favorite!

Suffering for good

"But if you suffer for doing good and endure it patiently, God is pleased with you. For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in His steps.” 1 Peter 2:20-21

Our Lord is pleased when we suffer for good. Being long suffering, patient, kind, and forgiving to those that have wronged and continue to wrong us a Christ like character that honors God. The ‘Sand Paper People Test’ is good for us because if we endure this testing we will be learning to love like Christ. He is our example to follow. So let us not get tired of doing what is good. At just right the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. This is just a refining test to help us grow in Christ Jesus. (Galatians 6:9)

Don't Let Anger Control You

And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. (Ephesians 4:26-27)

There are bound to be things that will happen to us in this life that will cause us to get angry. Plans don’t always do the way we thought. People will fail us. We will be wronged in some way. We will witness some injustice done to someone we love and care for. Someone will say something hurtful intentionally or unintentionally. There will be many justifiable situations that will cause us to get angry, but we must not allow anger to control us. When we allow anger to control us sin will most certainly creep in and will wreck havoc in our lives.

Sometimes it is easier said than done to not sin when we get angry. I don’t know about you but I feel like I just want to say everything that is on my mind to my offender. In my human anger I want to lash out and defend myself. However, our human anger does not produce anything good and most surely does not produce the righteousness that our Lord desires. That is why we must all be quick to listen, SLOW to speak, and SLOW to get angry. (James 1:19-20)

In doing this study I found a quote by Epictetus a Greek philosopher who said, “Nature has given to man one tongue, but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak.” This is a great statement and something to remember when we are angry. Often times when people become angry they stop listening and are start speaking way too much. We must remember that once our words are spoken they can never be taken back. Our words can either build up or tear down. All too often out of anger there are harsh words, slander, and other evil behavior. Solomon has words of wisdom about anger and venting.

“Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.” Proverbs 29:11

“There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.” Proverbs 29:20

“An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin.” Proverbs 29:22

Allowing our selves to be controlled by anger is to follow the desires of our sinful nature. Outbursts of anger, quarreling, dissension, division, and hostility are the fruit that are produced when we have given the devil a foothold in our lives through the doorway of anger. Since we belong to Christ Jesus we have to nail the passions and desires of our sinful nature, in this case anger, to His cross and crucify it there. Then we can produce the fruit of the Spirit in our lives which are love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:19-23)

Let us remember what Ephesians 5:1 says, ‘Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are His dear children.” Therefore we should deal with anger the way that our heavenly Father does.

• Being slow to anger – The LORD passed in front of Moses, calling out, “Yahweh! The LORD! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.” (Exodus 34:6, Psalm 103:8)
• Allowing our anger to last only a moment - For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. (Psalm 30:5)
• Letting things go and not constantly accusing - He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. (Psalm 103:9) For I will not fight against you forever; I will not always be angry. (Isaiah 57:16)
• Being gracious, merciful and FORGIVING – Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted MERCY, kindness, humility, gentleness, and PATIENCE. (Colossians 3:12) The LORD is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion. (Numbers 14:18) They refused to obey and did not remember the miracles you had done for them. Instead, they became stubborn and appointed a leader to take them back to their slavery in Egypt! But you are a God of forgiveness, gracious and merciful, slow to become angry, and rich in unfailing love. You did not abandon them, (Nehemiah 9:17) Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. (Colossians 3:13)
• Hold back your fury. Remember that people are imperfect. Make allowance for each other’s faults - Yet he was merciful and forgave their sins and did not destroy them all. Many times he held back his anger and did not unleash his fury! For he remembered that they were merely mortal, gone like a breath of wind that never returns. (Psalm 78:38-39) Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. (Colossians 3:13)

My Lord help us to be merciful to others when we have been wronged or provoked to anger. We desire to imitate you and be slow to anger full of mercy and grace ready to forgive our offenders. Help us to make allowance for each other’s faults Lord. Clothe us with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and most of all LOVE. Thank you for the Holy Spirit which produces the fruit of self- control in our lives. In Christ Jesus name..Amen.

Let It Roll Off Your Back

" An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all types of sins.” Proverbs 29:22

I used to be full of anger, easily offended, and constantly fighting. Through the power of the Holy Spirit and the renewing of my mind with the Word of God over the years, I have conquered anger issues that used to control my moods and emotions. However, I find myself still getting bent out of shape over situations that I just can’t change or people who don’t change. Although I do not react the way I used to, I hate that I still get so angry.

Let me clarify, I don’t want you to get the wrong impression. I am not a time bomb waiting to go off. For the most part I am a pretty chill and easy going person. I’m the first to make excuses for others offenses, trying to see the best in them, and trying to see their point of view. I am also very long suffering and patient. I really don’t care if I am talked about or persecuted because I know that my Lord was too, so I don’t take it personal.

However, recently the enemy has attacked me where it hurts the most, with my family. I see my children facing situations that they don’t deserve. I see my loved ones being tempted and persecuted. My first reaction is anger. Then there is an internal battle between my old nature and my new nature. They war within me each wanting to resolve the situation in their own way. I wish I could say that all the time the new nature wins, but that would be a lie. Sometimes I quickly retort with words of anger, without even thinking.

“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” James 1:19-20

I have learned by experience that if I am lead by the emotion of anger I will only make matters worse. Instead of acting out foolishly I have learned and am still learning to give the situation to the Lord and I trust Him to have His way.

Through tears I pray for God’s mercy and grace. Then I sit back and I pray for those that hurt me or those I love. My prayer is always for God to have mercy on them, to help them, and draw them to Jesus. He gives me the power and the willingness to want to forgive them. Then I am full of peace as I trust Him to work it out for our good and for His glory. It is always so amazing to me that He turns my anger into sorrow and compassion for our offender. I KNOW that is a God thing for sure.

Anger is a natural emotion. We will get angry sometimes, but what matters is that when we are angry that we do not sin and that we do not go to bed with that anger still lurking inside of us.

“Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” Ephesians 4:26-27

Recently my pastor taught on anger. The two things that still stand out in my mind that he said are, “Don’t be angry about the things you can’t change. You’re angry for no reason. And don’t get angry about the things you CAN change.”

When I heard him say this I chuckled to myself because is just makes so much sense to me. It’s so simple and yet so profound. It was an on time Word that I needed to hear. I am determined to apply these words of wisdom to my own life and would encourage you to do the same. We will avoid so much unnecessary drama if we do not react in anger but instead we learn to let things roll right off our backs.

Harboring anger will only lead to malice, wrath, bitterness, clamor, slander, resentment, and unforgivness. It will have a huge snowball affect in our lives and will hinder our relationship with God and others. If we sit and really think about it, it’s silly and pointless to get angry about things that we can’t change because what’s done is done. You can’t change it and getting angry isn’t going to help the situation. Getting angry will usually make the situation worse. We may say things that we don’t mean or we may do something that can’t be undone. Dealing with our problems in anger most certainly will have regrettable repercussions.


However, in some situations we have the power to change the problem. Rather than getting angry and adding to the problem we can make a difference and seek change. Instead of anger being our guiding emotion let us be inspired by the Holy Spirit and full of determination to transform our problems.

Anger is pointless. Let it roll of your back and don’t allow anything to steal your joy and peace.

The Old Me

I know I said I wasn't going to write this week, but I just have to share this..

Saturday night was movie date night. We went on a triple date with my brother in law and his wife, and one of our best friends and his date. We arrived at the mall where the movie was playing more than an hour early. The plaza was full of teenagers. I thought to myself this is the perfect place to hand out WeUsed2bu cards. I quickly pulled out about twenty cards that I had in my bag and immediately headed toward the first group of girls that I spotted.

I walked up all happy and said, “Hey girls check out our site! Visit out MySpace.” The first girl I handed the card to read it and said, “O this Christian ****! **** this!” She crumbled the card. I seriously thought she was going to throw it at my face. There was a young boy near by taunting and also making rude comments. I became so bothered. I immediately felt my old nature rise up inside of me. The old me tried to resurrect herself. I wanted to retaliate so badly! I managed to maintain my composure while I passed out the rest of the cards.

I walked back to our group so shocked, not only by the way the girls reacted but by how I internally reacted. The love that I felt when I walked up to them was overcome now by emotions of anger, rejection, hurt, confusion, disappointment, and nervousness. What happened to me? Here I am giving them cards that say WeUsed2bu; however what used to be me wanted to present its self all over again. Although I did not retaliate I wanted to. I hated that feeling. I felt guilty and ashamed within myself. This was a reality check for me that the old me will try to come back any time if I allow it to. I have to be careful of it.

We must never let our guard down because our enemies are real, the devil and our old sin nature. The enemy will try to set traps along the way to trip us up. He provokes the war within us between our old sinful nature and our new nature Christ gave us. If given the opportunity he knows that our old sinful nature will rise up and attempt to enslave us all over again. When we give in to our old nature we can make a mess of everything that God is trying to do in our lives. I do not need any unnecessary set backs because of lack of self control and submission to the Spirit of Love.

Thank God for the Holy Spirit who reminds us that we are new creations in Christ Jesus, the old has gone, and the new has come. We are no longer slaves to sin or our old sin nature. Therefore we don’t have to surrender to those sinful desires. We are living a brand new kind of life that is continually learning more and more what is right, and trying constantly to be more and more like Christ who created this new life within us. Through the power of Christ we can live and act in a way worthy of those called to such blessings. (Romans 6, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 4:1, Colossians 3:10)

I thank God for giving me strength in my moment of weakness. It was truly by His power that I did not act out in foolishness. To God be the glory.

Lord, thank you for power to help us overcome our old sinful nature and desires. Without You we are weak and small. You make us strong and powerful. We are glad to be slaves of righteousness. May our lives always bring your glory. In Jesus name..Amen.

Beware of Anger!

More on prayer tomorrow but for now..

BEWARE OF ANGER! When we have been hurt, offended, gossiped on, betrayed, or taken advantage of we must not allow ourselves to be consumed by anger. Anger is determined to take over all of our emotions and hinder our thinking provoking us to meditate on the offense over and over again.

It’s a trap! Don’t meditate on the offense!

By constantly remembering the offense we are feeding the anger and prolonging forgiveness and healing. We need to learn to choose to forgive and leave the offense and the offender in God’s hands. Believe me; I know it is easier said than done especially when it hits close to the heart. However, the Word of God tells us that if we do not forgive our offenders than God will not forgive us either. We are also commanded to get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger in our lives.

“Your heavenly Father will forgive you if you forgive those who have sinned against you; but if you refuse to forgive them, he will not forgive you.” (Matthew 6:15)

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32)

I am not saying don’t get angry. There will be times that we all get angry. We just can not allow the anger to overcome us. So what do we do when we have been hurt? How do we not allow anger not to consume us? Below are just some suggestions:

Ø Be lead by the Spirit. Don’t allow your fleshy emotions to take over your mind. Remember there are principalities in the spiritual realm wanting to agitate the situation more and could even be the influence provoking it. We must keep in mind that we are constantly in a spiritual battle.
Ø Control your tongue. Don’t be loose with the lips saying things that you will regret. I know my first reaction is to want to come out of my mouth and start verbally retaliating. I feel the need to defend myself with my tongue. This is not the answer! It will only help to quickly escalate the conflict.
Ø Do not hesitate, immediately begin to pray! Ask God to help keep a cover over your mouth until the Holy Spirit has helped you get control over your emotions. Then try to resolve the situation amicably, in love and with patience.
Ø If your offender is unreasonable and does not care to resolve the conflict then you have got to let it go and leave it in God’s hands. Remember that God is our vindicator. There is no reason to defend yourself or retaliate in anger, trust our Lord to work on both of your hearts and forgive the person right away for your own good.
Ø Refresh yourself by playing some praise and worship music so that you can get your spirit and mind back on the Lord and off the offense. It’s hard to be angry when you are worshipping God.

Lord, we thank you that through the power of the Holy Spirit we can forgive quickly and not allow anger to have its way with our emotions. We pray that You would have mercy on our offenders and draw them closer to You. In Jesus name…Amen.

Meekness-Power Under Control

Recently the Lord gave me clear instructions on how to handle one of my most recent battles. He said “learn meekness”. “Be lead of the Spirit and walk in love. Practice self control and don’t let yourself become upset. Meekness is power under control.”

I have never really meditated on meekness or what it truly means, until now. The more I searched the scriptures and read about the life of Christ I begin to realize that meekness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit that I desperately need if I want to live a successfully Christian life. (Galatians 5:23)

During my studies I found a lesson titled Jesus: The Meek on http://www.thebiblewayonline.com/ . Here is an excerpt from the lesson:

"Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth", Jesus said in Matthew 5:5. What does it mean to be meek? According to our dictionary, to be meek means you are "showing patience and humility, gentleness ... easily imposed upon, submissive". The meek one doesn't throw fits or fly off the handle under pressure. A good synonym is "gentle". A meek person is under control. To be meek does not mean to be weak. A horse, before it is tamed, is strong but, being wild, is useless to man. After being tamed it does not lose its strength. It just becomes tamed, controlled and useful. A good definition for meekness is "strength under control". (Jesus: The Meek)

Now..Imagine if we developed the character of meekness by allowing the Holy Spirit to control our lives. We will have self control and not want to lash out when someone angers, persecutes, or provokes us. Instead we will be gentle and compassionate thinking about the other person and how our reaction will affect them. We will want our actions to reflect the love of God.

Being meek doesn’t mean that we allow ourselves to be pushed around. We must not compromise our faith, integrity, or standards. We are still to stand for truth justice, and fight against the attacks of the enemy. We just need to do it in love, gentleness, and self control.

It seems to me that meekness is a matter of walking in love.

Ø Speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men. Titus 3:2

Ø I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Ephesians 4:2

Being meek when someone is attacking or persecuting us will be difficult. However, it is NOT impossible with the help of the Holy Spirit. Psalms 147:6 says “The Lord lifts up the meek.” So let us humble ourselves for Christ sake and allow the fruit of meekness to grow in our lives so that we may be bring glory to God.

The Enemy's Tool

Don’t be a tool in the hand of the enemy. One of my closest friends and I are always saying this to one another. You see we are aware that the enemy will use anyone who allows him to cause strife, animosity, offense, jealousy, and problems in our life. He can even use us to cause drama or hurt in someone else’s life if we do not allow ourselves to be lead by the Spirit in everything we say and do.

The minute you give in to the temptation to gossip about someone, curse someone out, manipulate, antagonize, hate someone, have selfish ambition, cause dissension, lash out, envy, participate in drunkenness, and the like you have become a tool in the hands of the enemy. You are gratifying the desires of the sinful nature. The sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. (Gal. 5:16-17)
Don’t allow yourself to become a tool in the hands of the enemy to hurt someone else. Instead be lead by the Spirit and you will walk in love and produce joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Gal. 5:22-23)

Also, remember that this is a spiritual battle. Be self controled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8) Who will fall for his tricks? Who will be used by him to destroy someone else’s trust, faith, or hope?

When you see that someone has become the tool the enemy is using against you remember that this is not a battle against flesh and blood, but against persons without bodies-the evil rulers of the unseen world, those mighty satanic beings and great evil princes of darkness who rule this world; and against huge numbers of wicked spirits in the spirit world. (Eph 6:12) These spirits may influence certain individuals that have made themselves open to be used by them, even ‘Christians’. In your eyes you see the person standing in front you coming out of their mouth but remember that there is probably a spirit near by throwing thoughts toward the person about you. It is your choice how you react. Will you walk in the Spirit of Love and practice self control? Or will you gratify the flesh and lash out? Don’t give in to the attacks it will only cause more turmoil.

Lord help us to see the attacks of the enemy. Give us wisdom, courage, and self control to react in love using the Word of God as our weapon. Help us not to become tools in the hand of the enemy to hurt others. But let us be surrendered to the leading of the Holy Spirit. In Jesus..Amen!

What We Say Reveals What Is In Our Heart

I tell my kids, “If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all!” Proverbs 18:21 says, “Our words have power to give life or destroy life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences”. We must learn to think before we speak. We need to ask the Holy Spirit to help us control our tongue because He is the only one who can help us tame it. (James 3:2,5)

The scriptures below confirm that it is best to listen more and speak little.

Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything. (Proverbs 13:3)

Fools’ words get them into constant quarrels; they are asking for a beating. The mouths of fools are their ruin; they trap themselves with their lips. (Proverbs 18:6-7)

A wise man holds his tongue. Only a fool blurts out everything he knows; that only leads to sorrow and trouble. (Proverbs 10:14)

Jesus said that what we say and how we talk to others is an indication of the condition of our hearts. Often times our mindset and our intentions are revealed through our words. Jesus goes on to add that one day we will give an account for every idle word we have spoken.

Matthew 12:34-36 (The Message)"You have minds like a snake pit! How do you suppose what you say is worth anything when you are so foul-minded? It's your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard. Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation."

Do our words lift people up or tear them down? Are our words constructive or critical? What are the motives behind them?

Lord please help us to evaluate our attitudes and intentions. Renew us from the inside out so that our words begin to reflect the love God. Help us speak words of edification and teach us when to keep a cover on our mouth. In Jesus name..Amen